06/25/14
nanshe

Nindara

Oh far have I travelled from Enki’s abode
All through the dark caverns of the underworld
Searching for him who possesses the key
The one that can calm my heart’s open sea

Wounded and worn from this long journey
Barely breathing, a miracle you found me
My love, my Nindara, could this really be
That this arduous search is over finally?

But why, as soon as you held me in your arms
Another child is now a crying orphan?
Cursed I, she’s begging, calling upon my name
Could I muffle my ears and not feel the pain?

NO!

I, Nanshe the Goddess of Social Justice
With my remaining breath I will cry for peace
This one certain Edimmu must be appeased
A proper burial her pleading request

My heart is wrenching for I can never win
This Edimmu will haunt again and again
And forever she will rip my chest open
And she’ll have me watch you wounded by her game

Oh Justice I serve, Justice I’m deprived
Compassion I cry, oh pity am I
So please hear my plea, All you Gods that decree
To the realms of Dumuzi, I would rather be

I beg!

Write, oh write my faithful scribe Nisaba
And send my love to my dearest Nindara
Remind him of the one that waits at Nina
Say never forget the Lady of Sirara

And let all purple flowers bloom
To appease her lamenting soul
For the journey is long
For those who walk alone

~ Nanshe

04/5/14
set-free

A Journey to Acceptance

Last night I was visited by an ageless sage
He saw me weeping and locked in my cage
He asked, my dear child why are you weeping?
I said, Let me be, for atonement I am seeking

He asked, from what do you seek atonement?
I said, Oh Ageless One I deserve punishment
For Love beckoned and I did not follow
I thought there will always be tomorrow

Now he’s gone… he’s gone… oh my Ageless One!

Now I have nothing but memories and sorrow
And my heart beats not for tomorrow
Aye from yesterday, my breath I will borrow
For only through this, his images will ever glow

With my tears I built this lovely cage
To house all that my heart envisaged
Ageless One could I be brought back in time
I will never let go of a beauty so sublime

The ageless sage was moved by compassion
For all I could see is unbridgeable separation
He opened my eyes and unveiled all my folly
And spoke to me the secrets of all that is holy

My dear child, in ignorance and guilt
Indeed a cage you thought has to be built
For your eyes are yet shrouded and you know not
What your heart envisaged, this cage house not

Indeed in this cage his images will ever glow
For he is trapped inside because of your sorrow
Free you must set him though you need not let go
For always and forever, more than ever he is with you

Day and night he can hear your lamentations
From the lonely cage you built, he sends his petitions
That you may soon be comforted for he regret his actions
Know that to cause you pain, never was in his intentions

My dear child, these walls you built, you must tear down
That you may free him from the burden of your thorny crown
Your tears of sorrow is but a heavy chain wounding his feet
I know my child, you love him but this is not what you seek

Think not, there was something you could have done
For God has it ordained even before he created the sun
Remember yesterday in gratitude and trust God in his plan
Your longing is not but a thirst that He will quench in time

This I must let you know, he hold nothing against you
And your guilt is a great underestimation of his love for you
Therefore instead of lamentations, sing to him a lullaby
That he may spread his wings and embrace the sky

And know that acceptance does not mean letting go
It is knowing, for now, God have something else for him to do
In His appointed time He will send him back to you
And you will love him even more for he will be made new

It will be him but Free from all that once enslaved him

For a brief moment I contemplated
Then my thought became words and I uttered
Ageless one, I am an Agnostic, how can I be comforted?
Call me skeptic but a question must be answered

Great are all that you spoke of, but my doubt persists
My dear sage, what proof do you have that God exist?
With all my being, I called for Him on my moment of weakness
I begged do not take him, but my words just went to the mist

The Ageless One shook his head and smiled
Then he said, Oh my ever questioning dear child
You would know God for He is that which moving within you
On your Love one’s face, He is the Beauty and Love that you saw

I implore that you rejoice my child and do not fear
There is no reason for all your sorrow and tears
For whatever the spirit desires, the spirit attains
Therefore there is no reason you must be in pain

Thank you, I am comforted my Ageless One and now I dug
God indeed exist for which moving within me is ever burning Love
And what my spirit desires I know fully
I am sure now, My love I will again see

You’re welcome my dear child…

Just remember, your love one is not gone nor far away
Aye, you will see him again one of these days
But have patience and do not be in haste
For God is Love and Love will always find a way

The Ageless sage then vanished
But his voice remained, echoing in the mist

Acceptance does not mean letting go…
For always and forever, more than ever he is with you…
Tear down the walls…Tear down the walls…

Sing to him a lullaby… Sing to him a lullaby…
That he may spread his wings and embrace the sky…

Have patience, do not be in haste… do not be in haste…
What the spirit desires, the spirit attains…

Love will always find a way…
Love will always find a way…

- Donna

03/30/14
image

My Dearest Paul

We were different but we were one
And together we sought for the sun
Indeed we were cut from the same cloth
We recognized the light in us both

You breathed life into my life
Brought me to unimaginable heights
Now on the ground where my shattered self lie
With tears and a smile I’m staring at the sky

I don’t want to move on, I don’t want to heal
Oh I beg, let not the passing days steal
Pieces of you I never want to forget
Memories and pain are all I have left

Let me then treasure this pain
For nothing more I will gain
This waves only you can tame
It aches but it’s my only flame

Oh please let me be in sorrow
For I desire no tomorrow
Let me be in the dark
Where memories spark

Where your laughter is pristine
Where I can see your childish grin
Let my years be filled with tears and laughter be unheard
Lest they drown the memories of how yours sounded

The way you kissed, the way you smiled
The way you cuddled me like a child
Let no more memories then be added
Lest I forget all that to my heart is embedded

Time is my friend and enemy to contend
My broken heart he will try to mend
Indeed he heals all wounds but not without a cost
He takes with him memories that matter most

Yet time is my true friend unabashed
Though he takes and his love is harsh
He is my only bridge to all that is yet to be written
Each day he brings, get me closer to seeing you again

For now let me fight this enemy
And guard the memories of you and me
Till time surrenders and put to rest my weary soul
Back to your loving arms again my dearest Paul

- Donna


Some of my friends got worried about me when they read the poem I wrote for Paul. So as not to make anyone worry I will try to explain myself and what I wrote. Please click continue reading.

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12/7/13
image

Unto eternity unmoulded…

Unto eternity unmoulded I would give my hands,
And to untrodden fields assign my feet.
What joy is there in songs oft heard,
Whose tune the remembering ear arrests.
Ere the breath yields it to the wind?
My heart longs for what my heart conceives not,
And unto the unknown where memory dwells not,
I would command my spirit.
Oh, tempt me not with glory possessed,
And seek not to comfort me with your dream or mine,
For all that I am, and all that there is on earth,
And all that shall be, inviteth not my soul.

- The Earth Gods, 2nd Earth God – Kahlil Gibran

12/3/13
image

The great longing

I was on my way back to Chicago, I boarded the plane that will take me from Guam to Honolulu, Hawaii. Initially I had a Business class seat, but got upgraded to First Class. It was my first time to be in the First class cabin on an International flight and of course it was way better than the first class in a domestic flight.
Continue reading

11/27/13
pink-sunglasses

Just give me a reason

I can’t help but highlight Pink here on my blog. I admire her singing talent but most of all I admire her personality. I feel like she’s the more talented, more famous, Caucasian version of me. We are both Virgo, I was born September 10, she was born September 8 and she’s only older than me by 2 years. She had asthma when she was a kid, I also had asthma. Her father played guitar and sang songs, my father did the same. As a teenager she wrote lyrics as an outlet for her feelings, I wrote poems for the same reason. She’s very gutsy and successful, not to brag but I think I’m also gutsy and successful…hehe! She supports a lot of social causes and she is an activist. I am the same.

Continue reading

10/19/13
image

The Good that Can Be

Once upon a time I felt lonely
With the unpredictable wind I gambled away certainty
For I greatly wondered all the things that could be
With hopes that I will get that one good thing that I might see

In my quest I found a box, worn and torn as could be
My friends told me, leave it be, it is where it should be
But I’m a dreamer and I imagined all the best it can be
I labored to dug it out and finally took it home with me Continue reading

09/17/13
2012-09-09 18.02.54

Farewell

To bleed in silence, for what must be done
To feel my heart tearing for what will be gone
To watch myself destroy what I once tried to build
To bind all my heart’s desire for what is needed

To feign coldness while my heart calls for your name
To pretend remoteness while I long to be near you

Is a painful death to my soul

But I would welcome death
In exchange for your freedom
For I cannot be with somebody
Whose ultimate dream is to be away from me

09/12/13
image

Beauty

Everyone that knows me, knows that I’m into white guys. It’s just my preference since I was a kid. It’s not something I chose. I’m just naturally drawn to like them for some reason that I cannot explain. But on September 4, 2013, something occurred that changed me and my definition of physical beauty. I met Beauty himself, face to face and the whole experience inspired me to write this:

Just when you thought you know beauty,
And you’re dead set on your own definition,
It has a way of proving you wrong.
When you come face to face with Beauty,
All your definitions become irrelevant.
For Beauty can only be defined by itself.
It has the power to change you and your preferences,
It’s transcendental and comes in different colors.